you're on your own

i once wanted a big fight. i refused to accept my grace. i wanted to paint their names on the walls to show them what they did. the terrible thing i had to become, and the person who was then destroyed. i’ve mentioned pain before, but there are all kinds. revenge and remembrance are of a different kind. then, i look in the mirror. scared. swollen. tired of keeping the peace. fighting battles everyday. waging war to break a smile. i know nothing of other’s pain, but i know my own.

when i hear of it, i can’t help but fall to my knees. soften my eyes. i will not tell you what i’ve been through. i will not make this a pissing match of who hurts more. that would be an insult to us both. i only offer hugs and tears should you want them. words of comfort should you ask. because if you know pain, true pain, you will understand.

those who have been through what we have, know it never goes away. never gets better. never heals. only flares and itches where the scars are left. so, i will only say this;

be here with me. hold my hand. wrap your arms around me. if you need to imagine me absorbing your sorrows, do it. i will bear them with you. tell me how your day was. what you made last weekend on your day off. tell me anything. what you want to do. anything that passes through, no matter how insignificant you think it is.

together, we will breathe. together, we’re still here.