My Journey into Yoga: From Practice to Teaching

Introduction

TLDR: I had mental breakdowns and injuries that led me to explore yoga. To deepen my practice and further connect with a new passion, I'm working on my 500-hour yoga certification. I've since received my 200-hour and begun teaching. I aim to help people create a space that allows them to experiment and try something new through movement and stillness. To find that opposites attract, and to explore that in a more free and catered environment that helps them reach their goals, like I've tried to do for myself.

I wanted to share what led me to teaching yoga as one of the many ways I express and share my creativity and passion for life. It's not something that came to me organically, nor does it "just happen" for others. I intend to create a place where we can be candid with each other and find space for ourselves. I want to help others move their bodies to heal both physically and mentally, and explore all the mental healing opportunities they have and what that looks like. Healing and taking care of ourselves is a multifaceted journey that includes finding connection within and movement to express ourselves.

The Spiral

When I was finishing high school, I gained a lot of weight due to depression and adjustment to life outside of being an athlete. During my time in college, I experimented with all kinds of methods for losing weight and was doing all that I could to avoid addressing trauma and healing. It was during the winter of 2019 that I had a mental breakdown and a series of epiphanies (best way I can describe it), which ultimately led to me realizing I wanted to live a life that I enjoyed. Not one that was "safe" or "comfortable." If you ask anyone around me, they'll tell you everything about my life in the present time is anything but normal. It's untraditional and unstable. But, I can't begin to describe how freeing this was for me, especially when I decided to live that way in 2019, and start moving on from my past and healing.

This started with me reconnecting with dancing, which is something I have always had a passion for when I was younger. My relationship with it was on/off, but ask anyone, I killed it in Just Dance. I had fallen into the K-pop hole at the time, and started by learning a couple of Blackpink songs. I also began to watch my diet extremely hard. My boss at my internship in Justin had to endure the Chicken and Broccoli smell for months. (Sorry A). The change was almost immediate in both my personality and physical appearance.

It was like a domino effect, as my passion for music only strengthened, and I began to further disconnect from the Journalism and Advertising pathway I had started to finish my Bachelor's Degree. Initially, I thought it'd be a great way to channel my writing with a way to make money. But the more I began to spiral, the more I found I wanted to talk about ANYTHING else. Kpop, Anime, Taylor Swift, you name it. It was almost a subconscious doubling down on anything but what I "should" be doing.

Like a lot of things, that was all changed when COVID hit. 

I was spending a week with the Ad Team at UNT, where we spent all day working on our competition project. Which also included watching the world slowly shut down. It was in a room on campus that we all found out that we wouldn't have school the following week. It was, unknowingly, also my last time in a college classroom, despite finishing both my Bachelor's and Master's degrees afterward.

It was also one of the best things that could've happened to me. Which I always feel guilty for saying, as I know how devastating this time was for a lot of people, both mentally and physically. However, it was the pause I needed to get myself together and enter a new chapter of my life.

I'll share more on my musician journey later, as going forward, I'll focus on my yogic journey. But I basically spent this time finishing school work, working on my physical appearance, and landing my first gig that fall.

Getting Back Into it

Now, through college, I had practiced yoga on/off, as that was one of the only ways I knew I liked moving my body. It was never something I took seriously, and I never had a committed practice. It was just something I did now and then when my favorite teacher posted challenges. It didn't have any effect on my weight, and I only used it when I felt I needed to address pain in my body. My legs, especially, held a lot of tension from sports and my lack of stretching. Yoga and massage therapy, which my best friend introduced me to, helped relieve some of it.

I quickly realized in the Fall of 2020 that I had left a lot unaddressed. I developed severe back pain. I had spent so much time dancing, walking, etc., that over time my body felt the effects of not only losing the weight, but also showed what ignoring all my trauma meant on the physical level. I already had joint pains that I continued to work through, as I mentioned earlier, but the weight loss combined with my increased physical activity put strain on the parts of my body that had been neglected. 

It was to the point that I was spending most of my day lying on the floor with my feet on a chair to align my back, so that I couldn't feel the pain. I couldn't sit in a chair for very long, and physical activity would hurt until I could warm up my muscles enough that the pain only hurt when I cooled down. I was taking Epsom salt baths daily, and using ice packs even when driving in the car.

It got to the point that my parents had me see an orthopedic doctor that my father had been seeing, and they took X-rays of my spine. I played volleyball when I was in school, and that, combined with lots of weight gain and nutritional neglect, resulted in me losing a bit of the cushion in my spinal column in my lower back. My spine looked healthy, but the tense muscles from stored trauma in my hips and back caused pressure on the joints and were pressing on my sciatic nerve. Luckily, it wasn't too bad, as the doctor told me that I should stretch and do various massages to release the tension around the area, to help align myself so that the pressure was released. I would still suffer later in life, and I still get flare-ups, but there were things I could do to minimize the pain and prolong my spinal health.

Consistent Practice

This led me back to yoga and helped contribute to it becoming a consistent practice in my life. I went from doing it a few times a week to daily. Along with a couple of visits to my best friend, who did "muscle stripping" and various techniques to help relieve the pain, I saw a lot of improvement within the first few months. I made a playlist of my favorite yoga teachers, and made it a goal to do every single video, starting with pain relief and then all the basics.

By 2022, I had been doing yoga almost every day. It had begun to be a passion, as well as a means of self-introspection. I was using multiple tools to address trauma and begin healing from it. (More on those to come.) It became a body and mind experience that helped me grow as a person, along with many other factors like being a musician and traveling, but what helped the most was all the reflection and writing I was doing.

I created a routine and space to practice for myself, one that I still use to practice. It was important for me to come to the mat every day. Even if that meant sitting on the mat and staring off into space, or even grabbing a journal and writing down what was going on in my head. What was important was that every day I wrote, and then observed how I was feeling and its effects.

Then, I was committed enough that I began talking to others about some of the tools I was using, and they asked me to practice with them now and again. I was also asked for advice on stretches or postures to use, breathing techniques, theteacher I use, etc. Then, the concept of getting my teaching certification came up. If not to help others, then to help myself and my practice. It was also a tool I could use in case I wanted to travel and teach, as a means to see more of the world. 

Avoiding the Studio

I'm going to be honest, I have only been to a yoga class a few times. I've only ever practiced at home or using an online teacher. The reason is mostly to do with my struggles with confidence and body image. When I mention the group classes and yoga studios to people, you already know the atmosphere and feelings I'm talking about. It's the same with the gym and pilates class stigma you see. Those were concerns for me as well. Then, when I did get out to a studio and do some practices, I found myself better off on my own than paying a studio.

By this time, I was already deep into yoga enough that I didn't necessarily need too much in-person guidance, and I had the motivation to practice/seek out corrections on my own. You learn the tools and then can do it yourself. So, why would I stay in the studio? However, I also knew that this wasn't an option for a lot of people. They also, like me, didn't like the studio atmosphere that comes along with it. 

That's not to say there aren't "good" studios and teachers out there. I want to clarify that it just wasn't for me, nor was the money well spent for me. It seemed more beneficial for me to have my own practice that was well-rounded and more focused on self-reflection and healing, as opposed to one that revolved around physical fitness. As a teacher, this also didn't seem like the environment for me, as I understand that everyone is different and has a different practice. I wanted to be able to create a space for that individuality.

My suggestion for those who are interested in studio practices is to experiment and experience multiple ones. Start with free local classes and online classes, then try to find a teacher or studio that best suits your goals and style. Not all studios are created equal, and every teacher is different. It takes some searching, but I promise you can find an affordable option that is best suited to your goals.

The Inspiration to Teach

That's where I saw a gap in the market that I felt I could do some good. I got my certification to improve my own practice and continue learning about both yoga and myself. While doing so, I have plenty of people ask me questions, or ask me to do a practice with them, and help out. I also did a few semi-private and private lessons for my teacher reviews.

When it came to thinking about teaching for money, I determined that I would want to create a space that was similar to the one I made for myself. I wanted to help people develop their own practice and connect with their body/mind like I have, and find healing within themselves. 

Before I left for the summer to backpack through Europe, I had mentioned this to my best friend while giving her one of the private lessons for my peer reviews. She told me she and her mom would be interested in working with me to use the free room they had for yoga lessons to help out the spa. When I came back, it was all practically a done deal. Now, I've given her mother and her friend a lesson, and I have my first lesson the day this post goes up.

Conclusion

Ultimately, I want to help others foster a space for themselves. Whether that's sitting in meditation or doing a core workout, I just want to help foster an environment where people feel a little freer to experiment in the yogic practice. I hope to give people the tools they need to feel better, much like I have done for myself.

I want to invite people to explore the unknown and activate facets of themselves they might not know about. To give them the freedom to be creative and utilize that creativity. Again, this doesn't have to be with me, but it'd be an honor to help with the process.

My journey has been a long and complex one. It's been nonstop growth, reflection, and adjustment. Teaching does not mean I'm not still learning. I'll always remain a student who has much to learn from others and the world. We are all students who are learning to be better.

Let's grow together!